Contact Parenting: Supporting Your Child Through New Experiences
Trust your child and the emotions they are experiencing. Everything will evolve and change in its own time.
Hello, my lovely reader,
This post, along with the next few, shares my approach to parenting that is closely connected with high sensitivity. That is also a main pillar of the holistic health topic I am working on behind the scenes. I can’t wait to share it with you so you can feel and heal deeply with me.
Yours,
Selene
Embracing Uncertainty in Mindful Parenting
Before my daughter turned one, I wanted to start attending a children's activity group with her. The group was small, with only a few children and their parents, and it was gently guided by a wonderful mentor who offered various activities in a calm, Montessori-inspired environment. The setting was peaceful, with no overwhelming noises or crowds. However, even upon entering the room, my daughter began to cry intensely.
Naturally, my heart ached for her. As a parent, being in that situation for the first time, it was hard to watch, especially since the other children seemed perfectly fine. I stayed by her side the entire time, not trying to stop her tears but simply offering comfort and safety. I had no intention of forcing her to leave or stay. It was about her needs in that moment.
Sometimes, all we can do is stand beside our children, offering them the comfort they need to face the unknown.
Fortunately, I had the support of an amazing guide, who respected my daughter’s emotional response. What struck me was that even while she cried, my daughter remained engaged. She was curious about the toys and the activities, but it took us several sessions for her tears to diminish. Eventually, she grew to love the class and attended for over a year and a half. This group became a place where she felt comfortable, engaged, and joyful. Patience and presence allowed us to find our rhythm in a world of new experiences.
Recognizing High Sensitivity: Building Emotional Resilience
One day, the mentor first mentioned the possibility of my daughter being highly sensitive. On the same day, a tragedy happened in my family. It is not my story to write about it here though. But it was as though the universe aligned things that day—pushing me toward a deeper understanding of emotions, not only for my daughter but also for myself.
From that day forward, I realized how important it was to care for my own emotional state while also supporting my daughter’s needs. This pivotal moment led me to explore the concept of high sensitivity. I immersed myself in literature about highly sensitive children, and through this, I better understood my daughter’s strong emotional reactions. In fact, I realized that I, too, am highly sensitive—a discovery that would shape not only my parenting journey but also my own self-understanding.
Discovering the depth of my daughter’s sensitivity opened up new pathways of empathy and connection.
Searching for Safe Spaces for High Sensitivity and Respectful Parenting
As my daughter continued to grow, we joined new activities. I made it a priority to find safe and respectful environments where both of us would feel understood. It never crossed my mind to leave her alone in these settings. She clearly wanted me to be with her, and it took a long time for her to warm up to the new guides and mentors we encountered, despite their kindness and deep knowledge of children's emotions.
When we arrived at our second activity group at a community center, the same situation unfolded, even though my daughter was now older. It was a new space with new people, and once again, she cried and cried. But just as before, she received acceptance from both the mentor and me. I felt supported as well, which was crucial for both of us. Even though she wasn’t eager to leave, she showed interest in the activities, engaging through her intense emotions.
Children often need us to be their anchor while they navigate the currents of their emotions.
For me, this was emotionally exhausting. I am deeply connected to my daughter, as most parents are, but as a highly sensitive person myself, I also tend to absorb the emotions of those around me. I mean truly absorbing their emotions to the point that they become mine, without any effort on my part. I feel my toddler’s cries as if they are my own; I sense the emotions of other mothers in the room; the intense feelings of other children sometimes paralyze me; I can tell what kind of mood the guide is in today; and, on top of it all, I have my own feelings to manage. It’s a lot to handle while trying to remain present and calm for my child.
I couldn’t help but wonder if my daughter was feeling the same—was she picking up on the emotions of everyone in the room, contributing to her tears? Perhaps I will find out when she’s older. High sensitivity can manifest in many ways, varying in intensity from person to person.
A Journey of Patience and Conscious Connection
We stuck with this group, just as we had with the first one, thanks to the understanding and support we both received. Over time, my daughter adapted once more. She even began to play with the guide, who had become a familiar presence. Naturally, I remained present as well. It was clear to me that my daughter still needed me there, and I fully embraced this role. In fact, I saw it as my right and responsibility to be there for her.
Over time, I began to participate more actively in the songs, dances, and activities. We painted, crafted, and enjoyed everything together. Eventually, my daughter became so comfortable and engaged that other mothers began approaching me to comment on her enthusiasm and knowledge of the games and routines. She had come a long way, and her journey was inspiring not just to me but to those around us.
Coming Next: A Surprising Turn in Our Holistic Parenting Journey
This story doesn’t end here—what happened next was unexpected and taught me something new about my daughter’s growth. Stay tuned for Part 2, where I’ll reveal the surprising moment that shifted everything and gave me a new perspective on our journey together.
Understanding High Sensitivity in Parenting and Self-Care
Alongside our journey, I’ve also discovered the importance of understanding high sensitivity. It has become an integral part of how I connect with my daughter and navigate my own life. If you’re curious to learn more about this topic, I’ve written extensively on it in my Highly Sensitive Mini Series. I hope you’ll find these insights helpful as you support your own and your child’s emotional world.
Reflection Time
How do you support your child through challenging emotions?
How do you perceive your own emotions in such times?
Answer for yourself or share with us in the comments.
I love this Selene. We need to meet our children whereever they may be, even if we don't understand it. Your daughter is going to thrive with your gentle support and wise guidance.