How unresolved trauma, a medical system that only knew how to look for what could go wrong, and a world falling apart shaped my pregnancy as a highly sensitive woman.
I am so sorry to hear of the suffering and experiences you had, but wow that letter was so beautiful. The women you will help and impact with this writing are many!! Thank you.
I too was pregnant throughout covid. But I went into it with the knowing that exists between the wisdom of my body and the medical industrial complex; I had cancer 16 years prior to getting pregnant, so I'd been down that road before. There is such a chasm between the way medicine is taught to treat disease (they consider pregnancy a disease) and the embodied wisdom so many of us carry but are told to ignore and distrust. Now, my work in female relational and sexual health has shone a light on just how negligent and sexist medicine has been toward us forever. OBs, urologists, and psychiatrists receive, on average, less than four hours total of training on sexual health and function. I published the first research and diagram of the erect internal clitoris outside of a medical journal in 2011 for the Museum of Sex. Gray's Anatomy didn't include the full diagram of the internal clitoris until 2022. We have a long way to go.
Much respect to you on this journey of not just learning to trust your body, but helping others learn to trust theirs too. <3 <3
Thank you, Mal, so much for this. Reading your words I felt deeply seen and validated, not just as a writer but as a woman who spent years being told to distrust what her highly sensitive body already knew. What you shared about medical training is staggering and I am not even surprised. It explains so much of what I and so many women have experienced. Your work sounds extraordinary and I would love to explore it more.
If this post resonated, the third and final part of this series comes out next week. It is about what the medical system did to my body in the hours and weeks after giving birth. I think it may land even closer to the work you are doing.
Putting together this whole experience was very emotional for me and I cried a lot. These letters were cathartic writing for me. And yes, I hope for a positive impact on other women with my writing.
Selene, I just want you to know that I think this is such brave writing. I'm especially interested in stories like yours, because I went through 10 years that included infertility, miscarriage, giving birth to a child with a rare genetic diagnosis, and getting pregnant when I didn't want to - plus childbirth and postpartum depression.
Thank you especially for the finale - that love letter to yourself, giving yourself what you needed. Such a healing gesture.
Thank you, Jeannie. I am honored my writing found you. These feminine topics can be so hard, I know. I am sorry you had to go through such difficult experiences yourself.
The first part of this series is about my own infertility journey, and the next one out next week is about my very difficult experience in the hospital after giving birth. It was deeply traumatizing.
And while I know how hard it is to speak about these things publicly, sharing them can help us all feel less alone in it.
That letter was healing for me to write. Thank you for seeing it that way.
Selene, yes, pregnancy and childbirth trauma are real. I didn’t know any of this during the 10 years I was pregnant/having 5 babies. Most of my memoir centers around bodily autonomy and reproductive ethics related to my own motherhood experience.
And I write another publication here on Substack called GHOST MOTHER if you are ever interested in writing a guest post for it:
I really really needed to hear this today. My partner and I are planning to start trying from the end of this year. And though I trust God and the universe so much, there's also been some fears for sure. So reading this, especially the letter gave me so much comfort. That I am an HSP and I know my body really well.
Shruthi, I just read your comment, and I hear you. I know this fear so much. There's no way around it, is there? And no amount of any words can truly console when you are in this liminal place. I just wanted you to know you're not alone, and I'm holding your words close to my heart, especially as a fellow HSP.
This made my heart so warm, Shruthi. Thank you for writing this comment.
The fact that it reached you before you even begin this journey means everything to me.
Now you know that your sensitivity is not something to manage on that journey. It is exactly what will help you know your body and trust it. I hope when the time comes, you will feel that fully.
I am so sorry to hear of the suffering and experiences you had, but wow that letter was so beautiful. The women you will help and impact with this writing are many!! Thank you.
I too was pregnant throughout covid. But I went into it with the knowing that exists between the wisdom of my body and the medical industrial complex; I had cancer 16 years prior to getting pregnant, so I'd been down that road before. There is such a chasm between the way medicine is taught to treat disease (they consider pregnancy a disease) and the embodied wisdom so many of us carry but are told to ignore and distrust. Now, my work in female relational and sexual health has shone a light on just how negligent and sexist medicine has been toward us forever. OBs, urologists, and psychiatrists receive, on average, less than four hours total of training on sexual health and function. I published the first research and diagram of the erect internal clitoris outside of a medical journal in 2011 for the Museum of Sex. Gray's Anatomy didn't include the full diagram of the internal clitoris until 2022. We have a long way to go.
Much respect to you on this journey of not just learning to trust your body, but helping others learn to trust theirs too. <3 <3
Thank you, Mal, so much for this. Reading your words I felt deeply seen and validated, not just as a writer but as a woman who spent years being told to distrust what her highly sensitive body already knew. What you shared about medical training is staggering and I am not even surprised. It explains so much of what I and so many women have experienced. Your work sounds extraordinary and I would love to explore it more.
If this post resonated, the third and final part of this series comes out next week. It is about what the medical system did to my body in the hours and weeks after giving birth. I think it may land even closer to the work you are doing.
Putting together this whole experience was very emotional for me and I cried a lot. These letters were cathartic writing for me. And yes, I hope for a positive impact on other women with my writing.
I am greateful for your presence here.
Selene, I just want you to know that I think this is such brave writing. I'm especially interested in stories like yours, because I went through 10 years that included infertility, miscarriage, giving birth to a child with a rare genetic diagnosis, and getting pregnant when I didn't want to - plus childbirth and postpartum depression.
Thank you especially for the finale - that love letter to yourself, giving yourself what you needed. Such a healing gesture.
Thank you, Jeannie. I am honored my writing found you. These feminine topics can be so hard, I know. I am sorry you had to go through such difficult experiences yourself.
The first part of this series is about my own infertility journey, and the next one out next week is about my very difficult experience in the hospital after giving birth. It was deeply traumatizing.
And while I know how hard it is to speak about these things publicly, sharing them can help us all feel less alone in it.
That letter was healing for me to write. Thank you for seeing it that way.
Selene, yes, pregnancy and childbirth trauma are real. I didn’t know any of this during the 10 years I was pregnant/having 5 babies. Most of my memoir centers around bodily autonomy and reproductive ethics related to my own motherhood experience.
And I write another publication here on Substack called GHOST MOTHER if you are ever interested in writing a guest post for it:
https://ghostmother.substack.com/
I really really needed to hear this today. My partner and I are planning to start trying from the end of this year. And though I trust God and the universe so much, there's also been some fears for sure. So reading this, especially the letter gave me so much comfort. That I am an HSP and I know my body really well.
Shruthi, I just read your comment, and I hear you. I know this fear so much. There's no way around it, is there? And no amount of any words can truly console when you are in this liminal place. I just wanted you to know you're not alone, and I'm holding your words close to my heart, especially as a fellow HSP.
Thank you so so much both of you! Means a lot!
You’re welcome, Shruthi. I wish you the best in this leg of your journey. It can be a long road. I’ve been there. XO
This made my heart so warm, Shruthi. Thank you for writing this comment.
The fact that it reached you before you even begin this journey means everything to me.
Now you know that your sensitivity is not something to manage on that journey. It is exactly what will help you know your body and trust it. I hope when the time comes, you will feel that fully.