When Strength Hides What Still Hurts

What if the movement that makes you feel strong is the same thing keeping you from healing? I didn’t see it either until my body forced me to look deeper.

You may practice the kind of movement that brings real results. But what if your strength is protecting the part of you that still longs to be seen?

For a season of my life, Pilates Reformer felt like the answer I had been waiting for.

At that time, it was alternating pain in my neck and lower back, sometimes accompanied by pain in my toes while walking, or in my shoulders, and similar issues. I would describe it as musculoskeletal problems. I lived with them with acceptance, thinking this was part of me, due to gymnastics and hypermobility. My role, I believed, was to manage it through the right combination of exercises and massage techniques.

A Practice That Made Me Feel Strong and Safe

It is a method of exercise that combines the principles of classical Pilates with the use of specially designed machines. It’s a comprehensive workout for the whole body, focused on improving strength, flexibility, and overall physical health.

I came across a wonderful instructor who brought me joy, lots of helpful advice and tips for life, and explained a lot about my body. Over years of one-on-one work, she gave me the time to feel seen. I trusted her not only as a professional, but as a human. That kind of presence is rare in physical spaces. She shared insights, gave practical advice, and brought warmth into every session.

I really enjoyed it. It was a gentle and yet demanding physical activity, fundamentally aimed at eliminating spine-related pain. The variety of exercises, machines, and various tools was amazing, and I felt fun, effort, relaxation, and release. Even during pregnancy and the delicate period after birth, I continued practicing. I truly believe that the exercises and her support helped me carry both chronic and new postpartum discomforts with more ease. She was a mother of three. The emotional steadiness she offered during that time felt quietly life-saving.

Maybe you’ve also found something that worked until it no longer did. A space that is not aware of your sensitivity and makes you hooked, is not ideal.

When Movement Becomes a Safe Place That’s Hard to Leave

At that point, I didn’t yet understand that my high sensitivity is an actual thing.