We carry the unspoken emotions, fears, and unfinished stories of those who came before us. Understanding psychosomatics shows us how to release what isn’t truly ours.
Interesting!? I truly enjoyed this post as I went along reading it through.. nodding my head. When I got to the part of not telling your parents what to do.. I got curious. It’s their lives and they do what they want… yes! And… my mother growing up had some serious issues. With herself and relationships with other men. My siblings all left when they were in their early teens. Because of my mother and her abuse.
Years later… I am 40 and the only child who speaks with my mother. I have been coaching her. I love herself. To become whole. Yes… and to stop these unhealthy relationships with men who are not committing to her.
I’m curious what your experience in the ancestral learning process would suggest for this?
Thank you for reading my post and for leaving such an honest comment.
It’s a powerful and tender situation you shared.
From what I’ve learned in the ancestral work, there’s a difference between loving someone and carrying their healing for them. We can support, listen, and offer compassion, but the real transformation has to happen within their own system.
One thing that stood out for me in this course is how easily the roles between parent and child can blur. When that happens, the child’s energy gets pulled upward in the lineage toward responsibility that was never meant to be theirs. And even when it comes from love, it can be deeply exhausting for sensitive systems like ours.
The teaching isn’t to withdraw love. It’s to gently restore the natural order inside yourself:
She is the mother. You are the daughter.
You can care deeply without carrying the weight of her emotional life.
From this place, your support becomes lighter, clearer, and more respectful to both of you. And strangely enough, when we stop trying to “fix” the generation above us, something in them can begins to shift on its own.
Ahh, yes! Thanks for this explanation as I can see the value. I admit at first … I was trying to “fix” her. When I stopped taking on her responsibility and just sent her love whole holding my boundaries/wholebody yes and no… then I saw and felt a difference. Both inside of myself and within her. She was willing to take her own responsibility.
Interesting!? I truly enjoyed this post as I went along reading it through.. nodding my head. When I got to the part of not telling your parents what to do.. I got curious. It’s their lives and they do what they want… yes! And… my mother growing up had some serious issues. With herself and relationships with other men. My siblings all left when they were in their early teens. Because of my mother and her abuse.
Years later… I am 40 and the only child who speaks with my mother. I have been coaching her. I love herself. To become whole. Yes… and to stop these unhealthy relationships with men who are not committing to her.
I’m curious what your experience in the ancestral learning process would suggest for this?
Thank you for reading my post and for leaving such an honest comment.
It’s a powerful and tender situation you shared.
From what I’ve learned in the ancestral work, there’s a difference between loving someone and carrying their healing for them. We can support, listen, and offer compassion, but the real transformation has to happen within their own system.
One thing that stood out for me in this course is how easily the roles between parent and child can blur. When that happens, the child’s energy gets pulled upward in the lineage toward responsibility that was never meant to be theirs. And even when it comes from love, it can be deeply exhausting for sensitive systems like ours.
The teaching isn’t to withdraw love. It’s to gently restore the natural order inside yourself:
She is the mother. You are the daughter.
You can care deeply without carrying the weight of her emotional life.
From this place, your support becomes lighter, clearer, and more respectful to both of you. And strangely enough, when we stop trying to “fix” the generation above us, something in them can begins to shift on its own.
Ahh, yes! Thanks for this explanation as I can see the value. I admit at first … I was trying to “fix” her. When I stopped taking on her responsibility and just sent her love whole holding my boundaries/wholebody yes and no… then I saw and felt a difference. Both inside of myself and within her. She was willing to take her own responsibility.