Finding Solitude: The Essential Balance for a Highly Sensitive Life
Are you giving yourself the time you truly need to thrive? Learn how solitude can be your ultimate tool for balance.
Welcome to the third part of the Highly Sensitive Mini Series.
What began as a quiet reflection has unfolded into something much larger: my most read, shared, and commented work here on Substack. More than the numbers, it’s the connection that has surprised me most. In this space, I’ve encountered a deeply feeling, authentic community with remarkable self-awareness. I’ve never had an experience like this with other HSPs in my everyday life. The connection and resonance made me feel like I’ve found my tribe, a place where I finally belong. It’s clear now that there are many of us, and we carry enormous power.
So if you’re here, you’re not just reading, you can actually feel high sensitivity in its raw form and quietly become understood and accepted among us.
Let’s unfold the third part, which invites you to enjoy the presence of your most favorite person - you.
Personal Energy Management: The Need for Time Alone
In the second part of Highly Sensitive Mini Series High Sensitivity: Understanding the Body's Signals, I explored the importance of understanding the body’s signals and how, as a highly sensitive person, prioritizing rest and recovery became crucial to maintaining balance.
Equally important to my well-being is finding moments for myself. While I greatly value time spent with family and people who make me feel good, I’ve come to realize that carving out time to be alone—whether in silence or engaging in a calming activity of my own choice, like meditation, reading, gazing out of the window, or sitting outside and watching the clouds pass by—is essential. These moments of personal space allow me to process the emotions and sensory input that accumulate throughout the day, restoring my energy and sense of inner calm.
If I go a few days without having this time to recharge, I can feel the difference. I become restless, and everything around me feels more overwhelming. My ability to cope diminishes, and I notice the weight of my responsibilities pressing on me more intensely. It’s often said that parents need to be well-resourced to meet the emotional rollercoaster of their children, and for highly sensitive individuals, this is even more true. We need to put in considerable effort to replenish our energy—not just as parents but in our everyday lives. I feel hunger more deeply, physical discomfort more quickly, and the impact of unresolved emotional patterns weighs on me even more heavily. Understanding what I truly need and allowing myself to prioritize those needs is a continuous process of self-discovery, especially in a society that often values productivity above well-being.
I’ve had to turn away from these societal pressures and find my own path to living in contentment. Time to myself is not just a preference; it’s a lifeline. Whether others understand it or not, it is my essential resource for emotional and mental health, allowing me to function and thrive in a world that often feels overwhelming.
Time alone is not a luxury; it is my source of renewal, my sanctuary, and my strength.
The Societal Challenge of Finding Solitude
One of the greatest challenges I’ve faced in embracing my need for time alone is how it contrasts with societal expectations. From a young age, we are often encouraged to be constantly social—spending hours in school, surrounded by peers, noise, and expectations. As a child, I never realized how much this daily social immersion was affecting me. The noise, the interactions, the pressure to focus, to form relationships, and to maintain a socially acceptable image - it all weighed heavily on my nervous system.
Looking back, I understand now that this environment required a tremendous amount of energy to manage. Even though I wasn’t subjected to bullying or exclusion, I still found the daily social pressures exhausting. After school, I would head straight into activities and sports, where the collective atmosphere continued. I didn’t know it then, but what I truly needed was time to myself to decompress, reflect, and restore my inner resources. Instead, I spent years pushing through the overstimulation without realizing how deeply it was affecting me.
As adults, many of us continue this cycle. Society values constant interaction and productivity, often at the expense of personal well-being. For highly sensitive people, this can be particularly draining. I had to step away from these expectations, turn inward, and find what truly worked for me. I needed to nurture my emotional and mental resources to continue functioning in a way that felt balanced and healthy.
In a world that constantly demands more, I had to learn to give myself permission to be still—to step back and restore my inner strength.
Finding Peace in Solitude: More Than Enough
This journey toward embracing time alone ties deeply into the heart of the world I am building, More Than Enough. It’s about understanding that who we are, in our sensitive, introspective nature, is more than enough. We don’t need to meet society’s constant demands for productivity or social interaction at the expense of our well-being. Instead, by nurturing growth and empowering change within ourselves, we can create a life that honors our true needs. I believe this can also inspire others, showing them that it is not only OK but necessary—and not selfish—to take such steps, as it benefits not just themselves but their family and surroundings. It carries the potential to foster greater understanding, patience, love, and calmness, which can positively impact everyone around them and gradually shift the world's priorities.
Through this journey, I’ve realized that my sensitivity isn’t something to be fixed or hidden—it’s something to be embraced. Taking time to recharge doesn’t make me less capable or less engaged with life. In fact, it’s what enables me to continue giving my best to those around me. Creating these moments of quiet helps me clear the noise and reconnect with my purpose, allowing me to re-enter the world with renewed energy and focus.
Top Practical Tips from Our High Sensitivity Journey
Embrace Your Sensitivity – Recognize it as a unique strength that deepens connections and enriches experiences.
Stay Attuned to Body Signals – Honor feelings of fatigue or tension and allow time for recovery.
Protect Your Energy – Prioritize solitude and set boundaries to recharge and prevent overwhelm.
Honoring Your Needs: Emotional Resilience and Self-Care
If you’re a highly sensitive person or simply someone who feels overwhelmed by the constant demands of life, how do you find your moments of quiet reflection?
How do you nurture your emotional and mental well-being in a world that doesn’t always make space for stillness?
I’d love to hear how you’ve carved out time for yourself and how it has helped you find balance. Your stories can help inspire others on this journey.
Authentic Reflections on High Sensitivity and Personal Growth
I originally planned this to be the last part of the series, but this beautifully connected Substack life brought me an opportunity to be interviewed and share more of my personal journey as an HSP. I’ll publish the interview in two weeks, on Tuesday as usual.
In the meantime, if you missed the beginning of the series, you can start here:
You might also enjoy my Notes that have deeply resonated within the HSP community:
Thank you for being a part of this journey with me as we continue to nurture growth and empower change, together.
Energy isn’t woowoo. Sensitivity is strength.
Thank you so much for writing this. It honestly took me five years (and a lot (I mean really a lot) of resistance) to learn that doing less doesn’t mean being less. I used to think I needed big, expansive experiences every week to feel alive. Now? Watching birds from the window or quietly camping in nature feels like more than enough.
Truth be told, I learned a lot of this from my very zen partner (who I initially found way too calm 😂 but a deep part of me knew he was right). Slowing down for me was like trying to stop a train going full speed... but eventually, I cleared the mess, switched tracks, and now I’m moving at a pace that actually feels like me.
Thanks again for giving language to something so many of us feel but struggle to name. ♡