How Contact Parenting Transformed My Bond with My Daughter

Could the secret to a stronger bond with your child lie in embracing what feels most natural, even if it challenges modern parenting norms?

In today's post:

• I want to continue sharing our journey into contact and respectful parenting, and how this approach brought about a profound shift in my inner life.

• I also wish to dive deeper into day-to-day struggles these changes brought to me and how I overcame it.

• I believe this can serve as an inspiration for struggling parents and as a topic that connects those who went through something similar.

• You can read the previous post in here: Embracing Change: How I Discovered a New Approach to Parenting

Recap: Adapting After the Nursing Strike

The closer I stayed to my child, the more everything started to fall into place naturally.

After navigating the nursing strike, I realized our routines weren’t working. With guidance from a lactation consultant, I started implementing contact parenting practices, moving away from swaddling and rocking to baby-wearing and co-sleeping.

The Daily Struggles of Contact Parenting

Exhaustion and Adaptation

Whenever I sensed my baby girl was looking for the breast, I would offer it to her immediately. During the night, I would take every opportunity to nurse her while we lay together in bed—no swaddles, just her lying beside me. I kept myself available, and as soon as she stirred, I’d let her nurse as much as she needed.

During the day, I spent hours walking around the apartment with her in the carrier. It was physically and mentally exhausting. Several times a day, I would put her to sleep by walking around the apartment with her in the carrier. My feet and back ached, and emotionally, I felt drained.

Getting children to sleep can sometimes feel like an alchemy.

I borrowed this quote from my friend.

At first, I tried to make these long, challenging moments more bearable by watching series through headphones while pacing back and forth. I don’t want anyone to think I believe my parenting style is perfect—it’s not. I’m simply sharing the journey that led me to focus on what I now consider most important.

Learning to Listen to My Body

Partly because of this new parenting style, I hardly went outside. Unlike many parents who spent hours outdoors with strollers or carriers, I knew I needed to conserve my energy. Looking back to this moment, it was my high sensitivity calling. Sometimes, I made do with spending a few minutes on the balcony to catch fresh air.

Parenting taught me to embrace what worked for me and my baby, even if it didn’t match societal norms.

Finding a Rhythm: Small Steps Toward Ease

Over time, I found my rhythm. I didn’t have to walk as much anymore; I could lie down with her while she was in the carrier without waking her up. This became a routine:

1. Walk until she fell asleep while nursing.

2. Lie down together to rest.

3. Repeat as needed through the day.

This practice evolved with her needs, starting with four naps a day, then three, two, and finally one. My husband played a crucial role, especially in the evenings, by taking over the bedtime routines or over the weekends. These shared efforts helped lighten the load and gave me space to transition from survival mode to more meaningful moments.

None of this came easily. First, I’ve always been attached to my routines, and change has never been something I enjoy. On top of that, it was physically and emotionally exhausting—especially because I had no idea if these changes would actually work. I had to learn everything from scratch while already navigating the complexities of being a new mother, without a "village" of support, during the COVID era, and after overcoming significant medical issues from childbirth.

Those days were, without a doubt, some of the hardest of my life.

The Unexpected Gift of Contact Parenting

Initially, I struggled with the idea—how could I juggle everything? When would I find the time to do things like cooking or having a moment to myself?

In the beginning, I worried I couldn’t function like this. But, with the help of my husband, we adjusted. Now, I see it as one of the greatest advantages I had as a mother—the time spent in physical contact with my daughter, breastfeeding her. When I needed to rest, I slept with her. And when I had energy, during those moments of lying down and nursing, I made enormous strides in my personal growth.

This change didn’t just impact my daughter’s well-being, it changed me as a person.

These moments of closeness weren’t just about meeting my daughter’s needs—they became a source of strength and growth for me. What started as a practical solution became the foundation of a bond that shaped both of us.

What I Learned and What's Next

First Lessons Learned From Contact Parenting

Through this experience, I discovered three powerful truths:

• Closeness is Key: Physical connection fosters emotional growth for both parent and child.

• Perfection is Not Required: Parenting is about adapting, not adhering to societal expectations.

• Embrace Your Journey: Your unique path as a parent holds the lessons you need to grow.

I embraced the rhythm of contact parenting, and in return, it brought me peace, and an unbreakable bond with my daughter.

This journey taught me that nurturing growth, both in myself and in my daughter, is at the heart of parenting. The empowerment I found in embracing change, rather than resisting it, became one of the greatest gifts of this experience.

Stay tuned—next time, I’ll share how these quiet moments of nursing led me to profound changes in my inner life, and how they helped me grow as a mother and an individual.

Share Your Parenting Journey

Every parenting journey is challenging, but it brings new insights and growth.

What was the biggest challenge you faced as a new parent?

What was the most difficult parenting adjustment you’ve had to make, and how did you manage it?

I’d love to hear your story—let’s open up this conversation to share insights, support, and solidarity as we navigate the ups and downs of parenthood.