Turning Challenges into Opportunities: Using Sleep and Nursing Time for Growth

Parenting isn’t just about raising children—it’s about discovering yourself. Here’s how I turned struggle into strength.

Simplifying Life to Embrace What Matters Most in Parenthood

Today, I want to delve deeper into how things that at first seem inconvenient or impossible to incorporate into our lives can turn out to be powerful opportunities for growth.

In my previous posts: Embracing Change: How I Discovered a New Approach to Parenting and How Contact Parenting Transformed My Bond with My Daughter I shared how I was essentially "forced" by my daughter’s development to spend countless hours of my maternity leave lying down, nursing, or resting alongside her. What initially felt like a limitation turned into an unexpected gift.

While it seemed like all I was doing was nursing, soothing her to sleep, and lying down, the truth is that even brief moments of rest—closing my eyes for a few minutes—gave me the energy I needed. As any mother knows, the energy required to care for a baby, yourself, and your household can feel endless. We do not have the village around us like our ancestors hunters and gatherers anymore. So, every bit of rest was welcome. Of course, there were times when I felt like I was falling behind, that I should be doing something more "productive."

My husband and I had to adapt our lives:

• We prioritized our daughter, and taking care of her became our number one priority.

• We cooked in bulk so I wouldn’t need to spend time preparing meals every day.

• We only cared about basic cleaning, and from time to time, we hired a cleaning lady to do the deep cleaning of the whole apartment.

• We chose not to travel or plan getaways.

By making small changes, I found ways to function while still allowing myself the time to rest and connect with my daughter.

Turning Rest into Resilience and Self-Empowerment through Contact Parenting

Not only was this time of rest beneficial for recharging my energy, but it also became a time of creativity and growth. I found that moments of calm often sparked new ideas, allowing me to use the time effectively. When my body didn’t need rest, I turned to self-study, diving into various sources of knowledge. I kept uncovering new information, discovering new possibilities. I wasn’t just scrolling through my phone the entire time—though I did indulge when I felt like it. But often, I found myself reading books, even while walking with my daughter in the carrier. E-books became a convenient option for me, especially when physical books were too bulky. I remember reading few books during the same period and just choosing between different types that fitted the best the activity I was doing at that time. Podcasts were another invaluable resource. The wealth of information available online was endless, and I found countless ways to learn about different topics that I was interested in.

Now, I hope to transform this gained knowledge into a helpful, science-based resource that can guide you, my reader, through your own journey.

During this time, I also started to gain deeper insights into respectful parenting. While contact parenting had already become part of our lives, I realized that respectful parenting would play a bigger role once my daughter became more independent—crawling, walking, and speaking. I began studying this topic in advance, which allowed me to better understand various aspects of child development. I learned about the development of the human brain, how interconnected our emotions are, and what really plays a crucial role in raising a child. This foundation gave me the tools to respond more consciously and mindfully when my daughter reached that stage of greater independence.

While I explored many topics during this period, here are three that I consider foundational, and the ideas have stuck with me to this day:

1. Authoritative vs. Permissive Parenting Styles: Research by Diana Baumrind and others highlights the effectiveness of the authoritative parenting style (high responsiveness and reasonable boundaries), which aligns with the principles of respectful parenting.

2. Emotional Coaching by Parents: Dr. John Gottman’s research on emotional intelligence highlights that parents who practice emotional coaching help their children develop better self-regulation skills. Emotional coaching involves recognizing a child's emotions, validating their feelings, and guiding them in expressing their emotions constructively. This approach fosters emotional resilience and builds stronger relationships.

3. The Importance of Play: Studies by Dr. Peter Gray and others indicate that play is crucial for a child's cognitive, social, and emotional development. Respectful parenting often incorporates play as a means of fostering independence and creativity.

The Inner Journey: Mindful Parenting and Personal Growth

Beyond the knowledge I gained about parenting, I also embarked on a journey of deeper self-awareness. This journey became a key pillar not only in parenting but in life itself. I came to understand that raising a child isn’t just about knowing how to respond to their needs; it’s about knowing yourself, reacting from a place of inner calm and understanding. When we understand ourselves, we are better equipped to understand our children and others around us. When we love ourselves, we are more capable of loving others.

The growth I experienced wasn’t just about parenting techniques. It was about becoming more connected to myself, understanding my emotions, and finding the clarity and calm needed to raise a child from a place of respect and peace.

I realized that understanding my child starts with understanding myself.

Key Takeaways: Resilience, Personal Growth, and Mindful Parenting

Even seemingly difficult situations can bring unexpected positive outcomes.

• Contact parenting and the care you provide for your fully breastfed child create opportunities not only for their development but also for your own growth.

• By cultivating a deeper understanding of yourself, you naturally become more attuned to your child’s needs.

• Fully embracing contact parenting and nurturing my child with respect led me to greater self-awareness and fulfillment.

The challenges I faced ultimately became gateways to profound growth. This journey taught me that when we embrace change—rather than resist it—we create the space for both parent and child to thrive. Parenting is not just about raising children, but about growing alongside them.

Share Your Personal Growth

Have you had moments of unexpected personal growth during your parenting journey?

What was the biggest shift in your perspective as a parent, and how did it impact your relationship with your child?

I’d love to hear your experiences—let’s continue this conversation and support each other as we navigate the challenges and joys of parenting.