When the Past Lives in the Body
We carry the unspoken emotions, fears, and unfinished stories of those who came before us. Understanding psychosomatics shows us how to release what isn’t truly ours.
This post includes a sponsored collaboration for the psychosomatics course Ancestral Programs by Vadym Shanzarov. All reflections and opinions are entirely my own.
I would have shared Vadym’s work with you even without any collaboration, simply because it continues to inspire and support my healing journey. I’ve followed his work for years and studied psychosomatics even longer.
The Hidden Weight of Ancestral Stories
I believe understanding how psychosomatics works is a basic part of healing any kind of issue or sickness. I am thankful for the knowledge I am able to use for myself and my family, and I see how it actually works. This is definitely not only a topic for highly sensitive women, it will be beneficial for everyone with any kind of chronic issues or recurring symptoms. But don’t worry, my angle is always HSP, that is the only angle I can authentically write from, right? ;)
Today I want to focus only on Ancestral Programs. I would say it’s a deeper layer of psychosomatic work, focused on how our ancestors and their lives shape ours — often without our awareness. I took this course because my existing relationships with my family are too heavy. Many of you share various problems in this area and I know almost everyone out there lives with some kind of stigma, grudge, misunderstandings and hard feelings with their mothers and fathers.
Healing Family Bonds Through Awareness and Gratitude
What is without a doubt the biggest surprise of this course is the positive attitude towards our ancestors, gratitude and acceptance. It taught me that we inherited traumas and unresolved issues from at least 7 generations before us. That is much more than just our biological parents, and most of us know at most our great grandparents. It is so many generations and so many actual people who lived their struggles in very difficult times, and we are their lineage. This brings me to a very important point when taking any kind of healing into account: we are not only who we are as single individuals, but we are created by many people before us. This leaves us feeling part of a bigger group and also gives us peace over certain issues that are not necessarily ours but inherited. The great thing is that we are here as capable parts of huge family systems to finally resolve these recurring problems, break unhealthy generational patterns, and in this way heal ourselves and, even more importantly, our children and their children.
This might sound too poetic or not concrete enough, but I had to share with you the broader understanding that this course brought into my life. You will be surprised how very practical it is. Vadym presented 12 lessons that each consist of about 30 minutes of theory and meditation practices that work beautifully with energy. These meditations are my favorite part as you already know I prefer rest and deep work ideally in lying position. Some of the meditations make you feel great just with the metaphorical images that are used, and some help you answer very specific questions and resolve deep issues you might have with your ancestors. All meditations left me feeling new, rested, aware, and more clear-minded. The best part is that you can keep them and use them in your life even after the one-month course is over. Based on my previous experience, I keep using such meditations at least a few times a week for a very long time. That is how much my system and mind feel they are beneficial. You are not alone in this journey, you can always share your experience with Vadym, and he or his curators are able to guide you kindly via messages.
There are a lot of practical questions you are going to articulate answers for, like: What kind of person should I be versus what kind of person do I want to be? What leads you to the behavioral pattern you keep repeating?
You will learn how crucial the role of a mother is in family dynamics. What are the basic conflicts passed down through generations? Why should we not exclude anyone from our family lineage? You will learn how to process stressful situations from your childhood.
It is advised to do this course in one month. That is the only rule I did not follow. First of all, I have enough experience to know myself and my own discipline. I knew from the beginning I would actually finish it because I choose wisely where I invest my time, energy, and money. Second, as a highly sensitive person who still lives everyday life while making courses, I was able to set boundaries whenever the living ancestor presence or issue met me. In such occasions, I deliberately chose to pause the course and its learnings until I was again prepared to continue, not under the heaviness of my emotions. It is advised during the course to get to know your family lineage as much as possible, talk to people, and get their views. In my case, as a curious family empath, this work was already done from my early childhood.
The Law of Hierarchy: Restoring Order in Family Systems
I am going to share with you one super interesting law, the law of hierarchy, that I see broken everywhere I look. It can bring so much peace and save a lot of energy if you follow this rule. I learned to accept the hierarchy of my family lineage. It means that the parents are above the children. Before you ask “whaaaat?” it is meant in a respectful and natural way. They are here longer, they pass down certain knowledge, and children are always smaller, newer. Children are not here to hold the burden or take care of parents’ issues, not even as adult children.
Older generations are meant to take care of younger ones, not the other way around. For the survival of our species, we should give all our love and care to our children. All we “owe” our parents is living our own lives and the raising of our own children.
In such a case and healthy dynamics, the priority is our own partner and children, with full acceptance and gratefulness to our ancestors. It shows the boundaries we should aim for. So next time you want to scold your elderly parent for not taking your advice on how to lead their life, accept it and do not try to be higher than them. They are adults, responsible for their own choices and capable of dealing with their problems their own way, however kind and well meant your way is. We shouldn’t take care of our parents in their place because it drains the energy they need for their own healing.
On the other side, understanding this law gives you a respectful tool to set boundaries and make clear priorities in living your own adult family life.
The obligation towards our parents is destructive, it is like trying to force a river to flow in the opposite direction.
Violation of hierarchy manifests through criticism, non-acceptance, resentment, complaints, and a never-ending circle of issues.
Finding Peace Beyond Our Own Lifetime
I have to admit that I have been dealing with healing my mental and physical symptoms for quite a long time. I am already aware of many problems, their causes, and I was able to heal in most areas and break a lot of generational traumas. Most importantly, I have been able to live the parenting life I wish for, for my child. But this course offered me a very different view and helped me integrate much more peaceful resolutions when I deal with my issues by myself. Remember, it is possible to hold two sides of the same experience at once, the good one and the bad one. It is never a smart move for your health to hold grudges, suppress or ignore problems in yourself, and feel the resentment all over your system. This course and Vadym’s work offer powerful tools for understanding how the body and mind carry old burdens and how to finally set them down.
If this post spoke to you, you’ll feel at home in Sensitive Enough Movement. It’s an exclusive space where I write about healing recurring symptoms, emotional patterns, and sensitive bodies that carry too much.
Interesting!? I truly enjoyed this post as I went along reading it through.. nodding my head. When I got to the part of not telling your parents what to do.. I got curious. It’s their lives and they do what they want… yes! And… my mother growing up had some serious issues. With herself and relationships with other men. My siblings all left when they were in their early teens. Because of my mother and her abuse.
Years later… I am 40 and the only child who speaks with my mother. I have been coaching her. I love herself. To become whole. Yes… and to stop these unhealthy relationships with men who are not committing to her.
I’m curious what your experience in the ancestral learning process would suggest for this?